What happens at a Japanese tea ceremony? A guest's steps

At a Japanese tea ceremony, you are served a sweet, then a bowl of matcha made in front of you, and you drink it in a particular, unhurried way. For a guest, that is most of it. The manners look elaborate from outside, but each one has a plain reason, and at a visitor experience the host will guide you through them.

The short answer: you sit, you are given a sweet and eat it, and then the host makes a bowl of thin tea and it is set in front of you. You bow to the next guest, bow to the host, lift the bowl, turn it so you do not drink from its front, drink it in a few sips, wipe the rim, turn it back, look at the bowl, and return it. A visitor session usually takes forty-five minutes to an hour and a half; a full formal gathering, called a chaji, takes about four.

I study tea in Tokyo, in the Urasenke school. The steps below follow Urasenke's own guide for guests. Other schools differ in small details, such as the direction or number of turns, and any host will tell you what they expect.

The tools you will see in the room, and the few you need to make a bowl at home, are in what is in a Japanese tea ceremony set.

Before you go in

Bring a pair of clean white socks and change into them before you step onto the tatami. Take off rings and your watch so they cannot knock the bowl, and skip perfume. That is most of the preparation; what to wear to a tea ceremony has the full list. Once inside, you sit and wait quietly. Silence is normal and nobody expects conversation.

In the alcove of the tea room hangs a scroll that carries the host's thoughts and the theme of the gathering: what is a kakemono.

First, the sweet

The sweet comes before the tea, so that its sweetness is in your mouth when the slightly bitter tea arrives.

• A moist sweet (omogashi), such as a soft bean-paste cake, is brought in a box or a bowl with a pick or chopsticks. Take one onto your own folded paper, kaishi, and eat it with the small wooden pick, kuromoji.
• Dry sweets (higashi), such as pressed sugar sweets or small crackers, are offered on a tray, and you take them with your fingers onto your paper.

Eat the sweet before your tea comes. At a visitor experience you will usually be handed paper and a pick if you have none.

Then the tea, step by step

1. Bow to the next guest. When your bowl is set down, place it between you and the guest after you and bow, saying osaki ni, "excuse me for going first."
2. Bow to the host. Set the bowl in front of your knees and bow to the host, saying otemae chōdai itashimasu, "I gratefully receive your tea."
3. Lift it in thanks. Rest the bowl on your left palm, steady it with your right hand, and raise it slightly.
4. Turn it. With your right hand, turn the bowl toward you twice, so that you do not drink from its front, the side the host chose to face you.
5. Drink. Quietly, in a few sips, tasting it, until the bowl is empty.
6. Wipe the rim. Wipe the place you drank from with your thumb and forefinger, then wipe your fingers on your paper.
7. Turn it back. Turn the bowl twice the other way, so its front faces you again.
8. Look at the bowl. Set it down a little in front of you, just beyond the edge of your tatami mat, put both hands on the tatami, and look at its whole shape. This is the moment to appreciate the bowl itself.
9. Return it. Turn it so its front faces the host and set it back where it was served.

Then the next guest does the same. If you are not sure of the words, a bow on its own is perfectly polite. I go through the phrases in what to say at a tea ceremony, and why you drink straight from the bowl in do you drink matcha out of the bowl.

Why the turning?

Every bowl has a front, usually its most beautiful side. The host sets it down facing you, as an offering. Turning it before you drink is a small act of modesty: you take the tea from the side, not from the part the host chose to show you. Then you turn it back so the front faces the host again when the bowl goes home.

How long it lasts, and what kind you are at

Thick tea, koicha, is shared from one bowl and usually served only at a full gathering. Most visitors attend a short tea experience or a large public gathering, a chakai, where you receive a sweet and a bowl of thin tea. A visitor session usually lasts forty-five minutes to an hour and a half, most of it explanation. A formal chaji lasts about four hours and includes a meal, thick tea and thin tea. The difference is set out in how long a tea ceremony lasts.

The spirit behind the whole gathering has a name, ichigo ichie, one lifetime, one meeting.

Questions I get asked

What happens at a Japanese tea ceremony?

You are served a sweet, then a bowl of matcha made in front of you. You bow, lift the bowl, turn it, drink, wipe the rim, turn it back, look at the bowl and return it.

Do you eat the sweet before or after the tea?

Before. The sweet is eaten first, so its sweetness balances the gentle bitterness of the tea.

Why do you turn the bowl at a tea ceremony?

So you do not drink from its front, the side the host turned toward you. It is a gesture of modesty. You turn it back before returning it.

What do you say when you receive the tea?

To the next guest, osaki ni, "excuse me for going first." To the host, otemae chōdai itashimasu, "I gratefully receive your tea." A bow alone is also fine.

Do I have to know all the steps as a visitor?

No. At a visitor experience the host will show you. Watching the guest before you is also how people in Japan learn.

Where this fits

The same bowl of thin tea can be made at home with very little: a bamboo whisk, a bowl wide enough to whisk in and a scoop. How to make matcha starts from the beginning. If you are planning to go to one in Japan, is a tea ceremony in Japan worth it compares the options.

Written by Mio.K, who chooses everything in this shop by hand in Japan.